The Sea Serpent and Me by Dashka Slater

Illustrated by Catia Chien. 38 p., Houghton Mifflin, 2008. Sometimes being a friend means letting go. A little girl finds a beautiful sea serpent in her bathtub. They play together in the bath, and when it isn't bath time, she keeps him in a fish tank. The girl asks the serpent whether he misses the sea, and he says he does. In response, she promises to take him back, but the next couple of days are rainy, and she doesn't think that's good beach weather. In the meantime, the serpent is growing rapidly, and although she has mixed feelings about it, the girl realizes that if he grows any larger, she won't be able to take him home to the sea. So they go to the beach in spite of the rain. Knowing that people and serpents have different needs, and so need different homes, the girl says goodbye to the serpent. It's hard for both of them, but they take the time to share memories of their time together, the girl gives the serpent lots of reassurance about his life in the sea. When she's gone home, the girl finds comfort in her memories of the sea serpent. The story is illustrated with charcoals and semi-transparent washes of acrylic in a palette of greens and blues. Children will understand that there are times when it's best for both of you to put your friend's needs first, and that although this can be painful, it's bearable. Ages 4-8

Mommy in My Pocket by Carol Hunt Senderak

Illustrated by Hiroe Nakata.32 p., Hyperion, 2006. When children go to school, they might miss their parents. In this sweet story, a little bunny imagines that she'll miss her Mommy when school starts. Although she could bring Mommy's picture with her, what she really wishes for - and the story elaborates on - is that Mommy would be tiny enough to fit in her pocket, so she could keep her there all day at school, next to her heart. She imagines the whole day like this. But she knows that even though that won't happen, she'll be all right at school, "because the love in Mommy's hug and kiss ... will stay with me all day!" This rhyming story is illustrated with tenderly colored, yet energetic watercolors. It offers empathy with children's wishes, along with reassurance that they can tolerate ordinary separations from parents. Ages 2-6

Feeling Better: A Kid's Book About Therapy by Rachel Rashkin

Illustrated by Bonnie Adamson.48 p., Magination, 2007. When kids start therapy, they have lots of questions. This story, in the format of a journal by 12-year-old Maya, helps answer them. Maya explains that she no longer has fun with her friends or doing things that she used to enjoy, has difficulty paying attention in class, often feels irritable, and gets a lot of stomach aches and headaches. She wants to be alone - but she doesn't. Maya's father explains to her that sometimes kids don't know how to express difficult feelings, so they try to forget them, and when that happens, they act and feel the ways Maya has been acting and feeling. He tells her that he had struggles like this as a child, but didn't learn to understand them until he was an adult - with the help of a therapist. And he offers Maya the option of meeting with a therapist. Both nervous and relieved, Maya meets with Dr. Madison. She explains what therapy is like, and that "if you need help from a therapist, it doesn't mean you are bad or weak or dumb. It means you're smart because you want to get better." Maya finds that Dr. Madison is nice, funny, accepting, and genuinely interested in her. She discovers that it's OK to feel all kinds of feelings during the sessions. Dr. Madison explains that the therapy is confidential, unless it becomes necessary to talk to others to keep Maya safe. She offers the option of playing games or making art, and Maya notices that making art is especially helpful in understanding her feelings, which helps her feel better. At the same time, it's not easy to get used to therapy, and sometimes Maya doesn't feel like going to her sessions. But her parents remind her that each time she goes, she's getting better. With continued work, Maya comes to realize that at least some of her sadness is about her mother being away on more business trips than before. Her mother helps her manage that with special times before and after the trips, and more communication while she's away. After nearly a year, Maya feels proud that she's worked through her "big" feelings, feels more like herself, and is almost ready to end her therapy. Illustrated with line drawings, this story offers children a helpful, hopeul introduction to therapy. Ages 8-14

My Father is in the Navy by Robin McKinley

Illustrated by Martine Gourbault. 24 p., Greenwillow, 1992. When your parent has been away for so long that you don't remember him, homecoming can be confusing. Sara knows that her daddy is in the Navy, and her mother talks about him and reads her Daddy's letters to her. Sara knows she's supposed to say goodnight to a picture of him every night, but she doesn't remember him. When it's time for him to come home, all the excitement around her perplexes her. But when Daddy asks Sara to say hello to him, she finds that she remembers him after all. With its softly colored illustrations, this story offers empathy to children whose parents have been away for longer than they can remember. Ages 4-6

Love, Lizzie: Letters to a Military Mom by Lisa Tucker McElroy

Illustrated by Diane Paterson. 32 p., Whitman, 2005. Having a parent who is away because of military service can be a particularly difficult form of separation. This story describes Lizzie's time while her mother is deployed overseas through Lizzie's letters to her mother, and occasionally, notes from Mommy to Lizzie. Lizzie describes her everyday life, along with expressing wishes that her mother will be home for special days and concerns about her mother's safety. She also sends Mommy maps that she's drawn with Daddy's help, which illustrate her experiences. At the end of the story, Mommy sends Lizzie a map that leads to Mommy's return. An afterword for parents gives helpful suggestions for supporting children as they manage this kind of separation. illustrated in colorful watercolors, this story supports children's coping with military separation, encouraging an active, age-appropriate role. Ages 6-11

Boundless Grace by Mary Hoffman

Illustrated by Caroline Binch. 28 p., Dial, 1995. When your family doesn't fit with the images of families that you're exposed to, it can be confusing. And it can be even more confusing to meet a father whom you haven't seen since you were very little. Grace lives with her ma and her nana in the United States, and sees herself as not having a father. But she does have a father, and he lives in Africa with Grace's stepmother and young stepsister and stepbrother.Grace is surprised when he sends her tickets for Nana and her to visit him there. At first, Grace feels as if she doesn't belong in this family - they're complete without her, and this family has the "wrong" mother. But she finds that she can't help liking her step-siblilngs. She feels that she has to be annoyed with someone, though, and, having read stories about wicked stepmothers, chooses her stepmother, Jatou. Once her father reassures her of his love for her, she's able to like Jatou, and to enjoy African cultural experiences. But she misses Ma, and feels homesick when they talk on the phone. She feels as if there isn't enough of her for two familieis. Nana assures her that there's plenty of her. By the time her visit is drawing to a close, Grace has begun to see her family as normal, not as a family that should fit the mold of those in the stories she's read. She decides that the story of her family will end with living happily ever after, "though not all in the same place." The pencil and watercolor illustrations are evocative of Grace's feelings and the closeness of her relationships. With Grace, children will understand that there are all kinds of families, and "families are what you make them." Ages 5-8

The Hello, Goodbye Window by Norton Juster

Illustrated by Chris Raschka. 32 p., 2005. Relationships with grandparents can be a special source of joy and security for children. In this story by the author of the absolutely wonderful children's novel The Phantom Tollbooth, a little girl has special times at her Nanna and Poppy's house. Their house has a Hello, Goodbye Window where the girl greets her grandparents when she arrives, looks for the pizza delivery person, and even expects the queen of England and tyrannosaurus rex. When it's time to go home, she blows goodbye kisses through the window. The girl shares memories with Nanna and eats Poppy's delicious breakfasts, draws pictures, enjoys Poppy's jokes, and helps Nanna in the garden. There are limits at Nanna and Poppy's house (the girl can ride her bike, but not in the street; she can collect sticks, but not bring them into the house) but these don't seem to bother the girl a bit. When Mommy and Daddy pick the girl up, she's happy to go home, but sad to leave her grandparents, and acknowledges this combination of feelings in an informative, matter-of-fact way. The girl plans to have a special Hello, Goodbye Window in her own house when she grows up to be a Nanna. The colorful, exuberant illustrations add to this story's delight. The Hello, Goodbye Window offers a sense of warmth, security, and fun, empathy with transitions, and acknowledgement of complicated emotions. Ages 4-8

My Red Balloon by Eve Bunting

Illustrated by Kay Life.32 p., Boyds Mills, 2005.

When a parent has been away, even the joy of homecoming can be tinged with worry and concern. Bobby’s father is coming home from the Navy, and Bobby is taking a special heart-shaped red balloon when he and Mom go to meet his ship. Mom has told Daddy that he will have the balloon when they reunite, and to Bobby, this means that Daddy will know it’s him by the balloon. He worries that Daddy won’t recognize him, so when the balloon comes loose and flies away, he bursts into tears. But the balloon floats over to the sailors, and Bobby sees Daddy and calls to him. Daddy tells him that he know the balloon was his, and then he found Bobby in the crowd. The red balloons stands out in the realistic, pastel-colored watercolor illustrations. When a parent is away for a long time, this story offers children reassurance that they can count on the relationship.

Ages 4-7

Mama Loves Me From Away by Pat Brisson

Illustrated by Laurie Caple.32 p., Boyds Mills, 2004.

Having a parent in prison is an especially painful occasion for separation. In this tender, compassionate story, a little girl called Sugar has always loved her Mama's bedtime stories, especially the story of her own birth, on Mama's birthday. When Mama goes "away" (there's no doubt from the illustrations that Mama is in prison), Sugar stays with Grammy, and they visit Mama on Sundays. Each Sunday they reunite lovingly, but, as Sugar points out, "it's not the same as home." When their birthday is coming, Sugar makes a birthday card for Mama. Grammy warns her not to expect Mama ato give her a birthday present.. But Mama gives Sugar the best possible gift - a notebook in which she has written and ilustrated seven of her stories. She tells Sugar to read one story each night of the week at 8:00, and she will whisper the story to Sugar at the same time. Illustrated with paintings that beautifully convey both the little girl's emotions and the love between mother and daughter, this story shows children how stories can help maintain a bond in difficult times.

Ages 5-12

The Buffalo Storm by Katherine Applegate

Illustrated by Jan Ormerod. 32 p., Clarion, 2007.

The presence of a caring adult can be a powerful way to cope with fear, but what happens when that adult can't be with you? In this pioneer story, when Hallie's family prepares to move west to Oregon, she struggles with leaving her grandmother - especially since her grandmother shares, and so deeply understands, Hallie's fear of storms. Her grandmother encourages her to write letters to her about all that she sees, especially the herds of buffalo. She also gives her a special quilt and tells her she will always be with her. The first storm of the journey is terrifying. Hallie is thrown into a creek, and her father rescues her. Later in the journey, she finds herself alone with a buffalo calf that needs her help. Calling on her experience with colts and her memories of her grandmother, she helps the calf. Then, she hears a storm - but it's only the sound of a herd of buffalo running, just as her grandmother had predicted she'd see. As she gazes in awe, her fears dissolve. After the family reaches Oregon and Hallie helps her father build a cabin, her baby sister is born. She writes to her grandmother that she will protect the baby during storms just as her grandmother had protected her. She is truly carrying her grandmother with her. Illustrated in richly colored watercolor and pastel, this poetic story shows children how to keep a comforting presence with them in spite of distance.

Ages 4-8
Main character's cultural background: European American
Cultural context: European American

In My Heart by Molly Bang

32 p., Little, Brown, 2006.

Daily separations are more tolerable when we know that we're in the hearts of those we love. In this warm, caring story, a mother tells her child (who may be intended as a boy but can be seen as boy or girl) that when she's at work and the child is at school, she keeps the child securely in her heart, no matter what she's doing and no matter what the child's doing. When the mother misses the child, she just looks inside her heart and sees the child there, and is happy again. As the story ends, the mother is telling the child that s/he carries in his/her heart all the people (and pets) that s/he loves. The mixed-media illustrations are bursting with energy and affection. Addressing separation with optimism and empathy, this story gives children what they need for the times they can't be with those they love.

Ages 2-7
Main character's cultural background: ambiguous
Cultural context: multicultural

Sometimes We Were Brave by Pat Brisson

Illustrated by France Brassard. 32 p., Boyds Mills, 2010.

When your mom's away, it's hard to be brave. Jerome's mom is a sailor, and she asks him to be brave when her ship goes out to sea. But when she leaves, he doesn't feel brave - he feels sad. Although he misses Mom, Dad takes good care of him and the family dog, Duffy. They maintain their normal routines, and have both happy and difficult times. Jerome looks at a picture of Mom, and makes a book for her, to cope with missing her. Dad helps him to remember that just as he's thinking about Mom, she's thinking about him. Jerome generally copes well, but his experience of stress comes out in occasional bedwetting and getting into trouble at school. When there's a pet show at school, Jerome brings Duffy, who is scared. But Duffy does what he's supposed to do. Jerome's teacher explains to him that because Duffy did what he was supposed to do, even though he was scared, he'd been brave. And Jerome realizes that he, too, has been brave in his mother's absence. Now he can anticipate a joyful reunion with her. Children will find empathy, acceptance, and encouragement in this sensitively-told story.

Ages 4-8
Main character's cultural background: European American
Cultural context: European American

My Mom Travels a Lot by Caroline Feller Bauer

Illustrated by Nancy Winslow Parker. 38 p., Puffin, 1981.

A girl describes the advantages and disadvantages of her mom's frequent travel. The girl misses Mom's goodnight kiss, and Mom misses some important events. The house is sloppier, which is both an advantage and a disadvantage in the girl's eyes. And Dad just isn't as good at finding the girl's boots as Mom is. On the other hand, the girl gets to go to the airport and to eat at restaurants more often, and gets phone calls, postcards, and presents. And the biggest advantage is that Mom always comes home. This story offers acknowledgment of children's unhappiness about their parents' traveling, along with reassurance that their parents will always come home.

Ages 3-7
Main character's cultural background: European American
Cultural context: European American

Bear and Mrs. Duck by Elizabeth Winthrop

Illustrated by Patience Brewster. 32 p., Holiday House, 1988.

When Nora (who is about three or four years old) goes to the store, Mrs. Duck babysits Nora's Bear, who has a cold. Bear has a hard time letting Nora go, and at first refuses to play. Mrs. Duck understands that Bear misses Nora, Bear copes with her by drawing a picture of her. After this, he's able to enjoy playing with Mrs. Duck. In a happy reunion with Nora, Bear acknowledges his fun with Mrs. Duck while emphasizing his special love for Nora. This story shows children that they can love their parents, miss them, and cope with missing them by keeping an image of them close by; and can also enjoy a sitter.

Ages: 2-6
Cultural Context: European American

See You Soon, Moon by Donna Conrad.

Illustrated by Don Carter. 30 p., Knopf, 2001.

 This story is about taking a little part of home with us when we go away. One night, a boy and his parents leave for a trip to Grandma's house. The boy says goodbye to his room, his yard, his favorite toys (though he reconsiders saying goodbye to his blanket and takes it with him), and the moon. He's surprised to find that the moon comes along with them. This story shows kids that unfamiliar surroundings don't have to feel completely strange.

Ages: 1-3
Cultural Context: European American

Don't Forget To Come Back! by Robie H. Harris

Illustrated by Harry Bliss. 34 pages. Candlewick, 2004.

It can be scary when your parents go out, but you might discover that you're safe with your babysitter. The little girl in this story is so worried about her parents' going out for the evening that she imagines that a moose will come into the house and eat her up. She questions her parents' love for her, and in her anger, acts out what they're about to do - leave her - by "running away" to the closet. Her parents calmly accept her concerns, and her babysitter, Sarah, joins her in lots of her favorite activities - eating pizza, painting their nails, and putting on clown make-up. In the morning, the little girl lets her parents - and readers - know that she's been safe with Sarah by telling them that Sarah didn't let a moose in. Readers know that she really means it when they see a huge moose resting its chin on the roof of the family's house. Children will understand that their feelings are accepted, their parents do come back, and they can be safe and have fun with a sitter even when their parents are out.

Ages: 3-7
Cultural Context: European American

Hugs On the Wind by Marsha Diane Arnold and Vernise Elaine Pelzel

Illustrated by Elsa Warnick. 32 pages. Abrams, 2006.

Separation can be more tolerable when children use their imagination to remind them of their connection with the person they miss. In Hugs on the Wind, Little Cottontail misses his grandfather, who is far away. When he imagines Grandfather missing him, too, it occurs to him that he can send love to Grandfather in many ways. He can send hugs to Grandfather on the wind, smiles through the clouds, and his funniest joke through the babbling river. This not only brings him joy, but also allows him to imagine Grandfather singing to him in the song of the rustling trees, and winking at him in the winking stars. With the loving support of his Mama Cottontail, he clearly experiences Grandfather as being close in his heart. Gentle watercolor illustrations expressively convey both the bunny's earnest littleness and his secure, relaxed sense of comfort in nature. With Little Cottontail, children can find creative ways to stay connected to someone who is far away.

Ages: 3-6
Cultural Context: non-human