Always My Grandpa by Linda Scacco

Illustrated by Nicole Wong. 48 p., Magination, 2007. When someone close to a child has Alzheimer's disease, the child may experience disbelief, worry, confusion, anger, and embarrassment. Such is the case for Daniel, who has always enjoyed spending the summers with Grandpa at the shore. On their way to a visit with Grandpa, Daniel's mother explains that he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, and Daniel can't believe that things will be different - and at first, it seems as if they aren't. Grandpa still tells the same stories that Daniel has always loved, and they play catch as they always have. But soon it becomes clear that Grandpa has difficulty keeping track of his belongings, his memories, and his words. During a lucid moment, he tells Daniel that he's sorry this is happening, and even when he behaves in strange or confusing ways, he still loves Daniel. One day, after a walk on the beach during Grandpa's nap, Daniel and Mom return to his house to find a burning pan on the stove. Grandpa doesn't know who they are, which frightens Daniel. But they remind him of who they are, and he seems reassured. Daniel and Mom talk about their feelings, and he's able to verbalize some of his biggest fears: is Grandpa going to die? Are his parents? Mom responds with honesty and caring, and Daniel feels better. But then, when Daniel plays catch with a friend whom Grandpa has known for a long time, Grandpa asks who the friend is - three times during a short period. Embarrassed, Daniel asks his friend to play with him somewhere else, and then gets angry at his friend. His mother explains that Grandpa's behavior can be confusing to others, and she acknowledges Daniel's feelings. They agree to talk with the friend and his mother about Grandpa's diagnosis. For the rest of the summer, some days are better than others. Daniel seems discouraged about the changes in Grandpa - he's truly experienced them now. At the end of the story, Grandpa is coming to live with Daniel and his family. Having said at the beginning of the story that he won't allow Grandpa to forget him and Mom, on the way home, he tells Grandpa the stories that Grandpa has told him. Illustrated in ink and warm-toned watercolors, this story shows kids what Alzheimer's disease is like and offers them empathy and reassurance. Ages 6-10

Anna's Corn by Barbara Santucci

Illustrated by Lloyd Bloom. 32 p., Eerdmans, 2002. Shared experience can be both a metaphor for loss and a way to move through the loss. in this story, set in the context of a farming family, Anna's Grandpa teaches her about the music that the corn makes in the fields - music that sounds to Anna just like Grandpa. Almost as if to commemorate the experience, he gives her kernels of corn to plant the next year. During the winter, Grandpa dies, and Anna misses him terribly. The corn seeds feel hard, just as she feels hard inside. She tells her mother that she doesn't plant them because she likes them as they am, and besides, if she buries them, like Grandpa, they'll be gone forever. But her mother reminds her that she won't hear the music in them unless she plants them. With this encouragement, she eventually does. True to her mother's word, the corn grows, and Anna hears its music. Anna saves some of these seeds to plant the following year. This story is illustrated with gently-colored pencil and pastel drawings. Rich in metaphor, it offers both empathy and hope to children who have lost someone close. Ages 4-9

Blackberry Stew by Isabell Monk

Illustrated by Janice Lee Porter. 32 p., Carolrhoda, 2005. Children might understand death as never again seeing the person who died. This is Hope's experience when her beloved Grandpa Jack dies. But on the day of his funeral, her wise Aunt Poogee stops making blackberry stew long enough to question this way of understanding it. She can close her eyes and see Grandpa Jack rocking Hope when she was a baby. Aunt Poogee continues sharing memories of Grandpa Jack, but Hope can't see him until her aunt reminds her of the time they went blackberry picking and met a snake. Aunt Poogee was afraid of the snake, and left. But Hope was able to use Grandpa Jack's encouragement to touch the snake. When Aunt Poogee made blackberry stew that night, it was "warm and gooey-good," and reminded Hope of how she felt with Grandpa Jack. Remembering, Hope understands that Grandpa Jack lives on in their memories of him, and is always with them when they tell stories about him - or eat blackberry stew. She had been afraid to go to the funeral before, but now she's ready; Grandpa Jack had shown her her own courage when they met the snake, and she has access to that courage now. She knows that when she says goodbye to Grandpa Jack, it's only temporary, until the next story. The book ends with the recipe for blackberry stew. Illustrated with warmly-colored oil paintings, this story offers comfort, support, and a genuinely uplifting perspective. Ages 4-8

Grandpa's Music by Alison Acheson

Illustrated by Bill Farnsworth. 32 p., Whitman, 2009. Alzheimer's disease can challenge children to find new ways to connect with people they've always known. As this story begins, Callie's Grandpa, who has Alzheimer's disease, moves into her home. Callie participates in his care, along with her parents and older brother, in very age-appropriate ways: she not only commits to playiing catch with Grandpa and helping him remember his hat, but also, she steps in to welcome him in special ways, inviting him into a new role in the family that helps him to structure his days, and especially, making music with him. As time goes on, he forgets how to do several things, but he always remembers how to play the piano, and he and Callie continue to sing together. When he forgets song lyrics, Callie encourages him to invent new ones with her, and he's happy. Toward the end of the story, he moves into a nursing home, and brings with him his ability to play music, his enjoyment of making up lyrics, and his connection with Callie. Illustrated with oil paintings, this story offers hope of connection in spite of the helplessness than children can feel when a relative has dementia. Ages 6-9

Remembering Grandpa by Uma Krishnaswami

Illustrated by Layne Johnson. 32 p., Boyds Mills, 2007. When someone has died, it can be hard for children to bear adults' sadness. A year after the death of little bunny Daysha's grandpa, her grandma "came down with a bad case of sadness." Daysha decides to look for a cure. To do this, she visits many of Grandpa's favorite places, bringing back things that remind her of him. As she does, she remembers Grandpa lovingly, moving through her own sense of loss. When she's piled the special things in Grandpa's favorite spot on the back steps, she brings Grandma out to see them. They both cry, especially Grandma, who acknowledges this lovely tribute, and takes Daysha for ice cream, just as Grandpa used to. Daysha understands that Grandma's sadness doesn't need a cure after all, "just hugs, and the right kind of remembering." This story is illustrated with sweet oil paintings. It contains important, supportive messages about both remembering someone who has died, and sharing the experience of loss. Ages 6-8

Guess Who, Baby Duck! by Amy Hest

Illustrated by Jill Barton. 32 p., Candlewick, 2004. Sometimes when you don't feel well, it might feel better to remember happier times. When Baby Duck has a cold, her Grampa shows her pictures of herself when she was much younger. She enjoys the pictures, and feels inspired. As she starts to feel a little better, she draws Grampa a picture that he likes - a picture of him, and his loving care for her. Colorfully illustrated, this story offers children empathy with feeling under the weather, along with a way to feel a better. Ages 3-6

The Hello, Goodbye Window by Norton Juster

Illustrated by Chris Raschka. 32 p., 2005. Relationships with grandparents can be a special source of joy and security for children. In this story by the author of the absolutely wonderful children's novel The Phantom Tollbooth, a little girl has special times at her Nanna and Poppy's house. Their house has a Hello, Goodbye Window where the girl greets her grandparents when she arrives, looks for the pizza delivery person, and even expects the queen of England and tyrannosaurus rex. When it's time to go home, she blows goodbye kisses through the window. The girl shares memories with Nanna and eats Poppy's delicious breakfasts, draws pictures, enjoys Poppy's jokes, and helps Nanna in the garden. There are limits at Nanna and Poppy's house (the girl can ride her bike, but not in the street; she can collect sticks, but not bring them into the house) but these don't seem to bother the girl a bit. When Mommy and Daddy pick the girl up, she's happy to go home, but sad to leave her grandparents, and acknowledges this combination of feelings in an informative, matter-of-fact way. The girl plans to have a special Hello, Goodbye Window in her own house when she grows up to be a Nanna. The colorful, exuberant illustrations add to this story's delight. The Hello, Goodbye Window offers a sense of warmth, security, and fun, empathy with transitions, and acknowledgement of complicated emotions. Ages 4-8

My Grandpa Had a Stroke by Dori Hillestad Butler

llustrated by Nicole Wong.32 p., Magination, 2007.

When someone close has a stroke, this can require a significant adjustment for children. Ryan loves to fish with Grandpa every Saturday, until one Saturday Grandpa can’t come because he is hospitalized with a stroke. His father explains in a gentle, age-appropriate way what a stroke is, and his mother validates the need to cry when you’re sad, regardless of your age. As Ryan visits Grandpa at the hospital, and then later at a rehabilitation facility, he feels worried and distressed when Grandpa doesn’t look quite like himself and says uncharacteristic things. It’s hard for him to see his grandfather like this. Ryan’s mother reassures him that although Grandpa may never be the same, he is still Ryan’s grandpa and still loves him. Eventually, Grandpa comes to live with Ryan. He seems unhappy at first, but Ryan thinks of the perfect way to cheer Grandpa – and himself – up: with Mom’s help, he takes Grandpa fishing. Both Ryan and Grandpa find a new way to do what they’ve always loved doing together. An afterword for parents gives helpful suggestions about ways to talk with kids about a stroke, respond to kids’ feelings about it, and help kids cope. The softly colored illustrations suggest a world of kindness and caring. With Ryan, children will feel they’re not alone, and will find ways to cope with a loved one’s stroke.

Ages 5-8

The Memory Box by Kirsten McLaughlin

Illustrated by Adrienne Rudolph. 32 p., Centering Corporation, 2001.

A boy wakes up to find his mother crying about the death, that night, of his grandfather. He expresses feelings of loss, abandonment, and anger, and thinks of the things they'll never do together again. His Mommy accepts, and encourages him to talk over, his feelings, and encourages him to keep his memories. As a way to do this, the child makes a memory box, filling it with Grandpa's reading glasses (which remind him of Grandpa's bedtime stories), seeds (which remind him of Grandpa's garden), and other things that remind him of his relationship with Grandpa. Importantly, he shares the box with Mommy. He plants seeds every spring, just as he used to with Grandpa. He expresses the ongoing sadness and joy that the memory box evokes for him. This story shows children a specific way to cope with their feelings of loss, and offers empathy and acceptance.

Ages 4-8
Main character's cultural background: ambiguous
Cultural context: ambiguous

Hugs On the Wind by Marsha Diane Arnold and Vernise Elaine Pelzel

Illustrated by Elsa Warnick. 32 pages. Abrams, 2006.

Separation can be more tolerable when children use their imagination to remind them of their connection with the person they miss. In Hugs on the Wind, Little Cottontail misses his grandfather, who is far away. When he imagines Grandfather missing him, too, it occurs to him that he can send love to Grandfather in many ways. He can send hugs to Grandfather on the wind, smiles through the clouds, and his funniest joke through the babbling river. This not only brings him joy, but also allows him to imagine Grandfather singing to him in the song of the rustling trees, and winking at him in the winking stars. With the loving support of his Mama Cottontail, he clearly experiences Grandfather as being close in his heart. Gentle watercolor illustrations expressively convey both the bunny's earnest littleness and his secure, relaxed sense of comfort in nature. With Little Cottontail, children can find creative ways to stay connected to someone who is far away.

Ages: 3-6
Cultural Context: non-human

Grandpa Abe by Marisabina Russo

Greenwillow, 1996.

Sarah tells the story of her relationship with her Grandpa Abe from the time of her birth (when he was Grandma's boyfriend) until his death when she is nine years old. In doing this, she is sharing her memories of him, which she has securely within herself. She is depicted as experiencing mostly disbelief in response to his death; her Grandma's sadness is also shown. With Grandma's permission, Sarah keeps one of Abe's sweaters, and she is able to help Grandma smile by doing a magic trick Abe taught her. This story shows how remembering someone can help the mourning process and can keep with us someone who has died.

Ages: 2-7
Cultural Context: multicultural

In the Piney Woods by Roni Schotter

Illustrated by Kimberly Bulcken Root. 32 pages. Farrar, Straus and Giroux/Melanie Kroupa, 2003

Ella and her Grandpa love walking together in the pine barrens near their house. Grandpa has taught her what is special about dwarf pitch pine cones: the seeds inside can only be released to grow if there's a fire, and there will only be room for them to grow if a fire burns down the old trees. As time goes on, Grandpa is less and less able to walk, and even too tired to be carried to the woods by the family - Ella's parents, her pregnant older sister, and sister's partner, Sam. There's a lightning storm, and the woods catch fire. When Ella helps the firefighters, along with Papa and Sam, she finds a pitch pine cone that's opened by the fire, and brings it back to Grandpa. Grandpa soon dies, and Ella plants a seed from the pinecone beside his grave. Months later, a baby pitch pine grows, and Ella's new nephew grows too. Ella plans to teach him all that Grandpa taught her. This story offers children a healing image of the continuity of life.

Ages: 5-9
Cultural Context: European American